I Don't Want To Be Addicted
Posted: Sunday, August 16, 2009
by David Pekrul
Most of us are aware of the drug abuse that is around us, on our streets, in our neighbourhoods, in our towns and cities. I have always been aware of it. When I was in my teens I volunteered with "Teen Challenge" on the streets of Vancouver, B.C., helping in a store-front church in a drug infested area of East Hastings Street.
What never really crossed my mind at the time was that many of those addicted didn't really want to live that life-style. I guess I just took it for granted that that was the way they wanted to be. I mean, they chose that life-style, didn't they?
There I was, trying to tell them there was a better way, but didn't they already make their choice, and weren't they just as happy to stay the way they were? I now know that my way of thinking was really short-sighted.
How many people hooked on drugs just want to be free and don't know how? I can't imagine what it is like and I won't pretend to try.
I Don't Want To Be Addicted
I don't want to always suffer in my heart and in my brain,
I don't want to use, abuse it, Speed or Meth or Heroin,
When I do, I know I've lost it, even though I want to win.
I just want to be contented, always know I'll be okay,
I just want to feel alive, so I can live another day,
Do the things that I have dreamed of, do the things that I have planned,
Do the things that really matter, do the things that help me stand.
I don't want to feel rejected; I don't want to live with doubt,
I just want to know the reason, and what life is all about,
Feel that what I do still matters, feel that what I choose, I get,
Feel that life is worth the living and that when I swing, I hit.
I wish I could quit this habit; I wish I could break this chain,
When I look into the future, see my life go down the drain,
For a high is what I'm longing, feeling sick and wanting more,
For a moment feeling better, fearing what life has in store.
I don't want to be addicted; I just want to do what's right,
Find a job and raise a family, fight the dark and seek the light,
God in Heaven, see my weakness, help me now to find the way,
Break me of this awful habit, in the name of Christ I pray.
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E-Mail:dpekrul@gmail.com
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Top-level comments on this article: (7 total)Good poem Dave, Oh I couldn't leave a response on your comment on my poem "thank God for the working man" so I'll leave on here, thank you for commenting, yes what would the world do without the working man?Thanks David. Always like hearing from you.
"Break me of this awful habit, in the name of Christ I pray." David, this sums it up very well. This is a beautiful poem that deals with the heart. It is nice to hear "Common Sense" reasons without prejudging. This article (poem) can be framed at Hospitals and Drug Abuse Centers. ThanksThanks for your great comment. I wrote this poem a few months ago, but was never really that happy with it. The other day I pulled it up again and rewrote the last two stanzas. I think it works better with the rewrite.
hi david,graduating high school in 1974, many of the people i went to school with are dead from trying to escape in '74, only to learn they had aids years later. i think you did a great job summing up what an addict feels like.thanks for sharing with us,my best regards,sueThanks Sue,I'm happy to say that I have never dabbled with drugs, but I think my short experience with "Teen Challenge" when I was in my teens, gave me the understanding that being a drug addict is not what people want to attain for their lives.
You know how they have a "poster child" for a particular campaign? David, this poem should be used internationally for drug addicts. Have you lived vicariously through someone who is/was an addict? Or a previous job? It's outstanding work, David!This comment is a great compliment, Avis. Thank you. I really try to get into the mind of my subject when I write poetry. I often feel unqualified to do that, as I do not have the experiences of which I write. That's where imagination comes into play. So comments such as yours mean so much.
Very well put! And some addicts do not have a clue they are addicted....I've written some on that myself.MarijoThanks for your comments Marijo. I am no expert in this field and that is why I have only written a short poem on the subject and not a long article. Actually, I find that in most of my poetry, I am not an expert in what I write about. But I find that writing a poem gets the idea across at what I want to present and lets those with the expertise read them and fill in the blanks.
I could have sworn I left a comment already! Oooops!Anyway, this is a nice piece, David. I cannot imagine how it must feel to lead such an existence.I thought for sure you had left a comment also, but thanks again for another comment.
I think we are all but one choice away from a lot of things which we may judge others for. I had alcoholic parents and chose to give up drinking a long time ago but I could have quite easily have made a different choice which could have led me to the same place as many homeless addicts I see on the streets.Yes, it is all about choice, and I guess addicts have also made their choice. But having made that choice, it is so hard to change their choice once addicted. It takes a very strong person to break the addiction.Thanks so much for your personal testimony to the choice you have made.
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